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A Restored & Healthy Marriage Begins With You

The month of February is known as the month of love. It is also a time when people across America and around the world celebrate Valentine's Day, and do nice things for the significant other in their lives. However, there are some very important things that should be understood and attended to throughout the entire year in order for married couples and their families to enjoy the benefits of their love for one another through healing and restoration.

In order for a marriage and family to be healed and restored, each individual must be willing to embrace change.  I have personally observed the fact that almost all of the issues and challenges which are faced in marriages and families could be settled automatically if only one or more of the people in the family would begin to change. Although, change almost never occurs until something tragic or very serious happens in order to motivate people to have a change of heart.

Before a change of heart can occur, one must realize and understand why it is necessary to do so.  When you became born again your spirit was automatically renewed and made alive unto God, but your soul which encompasses your mind, will, intellect, judgment, appetites, emotions yet needs to be renewed in Christ. When you consider the kind of thoughts and opinions that are contained in your heart, are they aligned with the Word of God as the final authority, or do you defend them in order to maintain your present position and attitude? If they are not aligned with God's word, you've just identified the areas where strongholds exist as fortresses of thought, ideas and opinions that are of an ungodly and sinful nature. Thoughts of unbelief, a lack of compassion, cold heartedness, various kinds of fear (phobias), pride, unforgiveness and lusts involving sexual appetites, food, money, etc., are strongholds which entangle the soul. They must be confessed, renounced and authority must be taken against them by the Word of God until they have been severed from the root.

"For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ."
(2 Corinthians 10:3-5, NKJV)

Again, in order for marriages and families to be healed and restored, the individuals who are companions and members of the marriage and family have to be made whole first. Once the decision has been made to change then healing can begin, and lives can be changed for the better! 

The first thing that needs to take place is to turn your will over to God completely by submitting yourself to God's Word according to Isaiah 1:19, which says, "If ye be willing and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land." In order to eat the good of the land you must submit and come under the will of God by setting aside your plans, desires and appetites for God's desires, plans and will for your life.

Secondly, you must increase your knowledge base. Your level of knowledge and understanding of the Word of God must increase in order for change to occur in your life. The direct proportion to which your knowledge increases will correspondingly affect the degree to which you receive the insight needed to activate and apply so that change becomes evident.  Otherwise, you will continue to partake of the wrong things and produce wrong results.  If your context is wrong, your outcome will also be wrong. So, personal growth and development of your knowledge base is essential in your ability to improve the condition of your marriage and family relationships.

Third, let the Word of God be the standard by which you measure the depth of your progress. Look into the perfect law of liberty everyday especially in the morning and in the evening, making it your daily bread until you reflect the characteristics, love, compassion, wisdom, and integrity that it contains. In doing so, you will begin to experience the results in the way you respond to your companion, family members and others you come into contact with daily.

"But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it, not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it, they will be blessed in what they do." (James 1:25, NIV)

Fourth, guard your heart by meditating and applying the Word of God as a lifestyle instead of on occasion.  According to Proverbs 4:23, it is very important to "Keep thy heart with all diligence, for out of it flows the issues of life."  Therefore, you will have to consider the things which you are allowing to enter your heart, because if you allow refuse and garbage in that's what will come out. Instead, ensure that you are deliberately and intentionally protecting and cultivating a spiritually healthy thought life by meditation and application of God's word every day.

Finally, set aside quality time for personal devotion in prayer and communion between you and God alone.  Then ensure that you dedicate special time to enter into prayer with your companion on a daily basis as much as possible. This will help to build intimacy and agreement in the marriage, and undo any plots of the adversary to creep in and destroy the covenant relation that God has blessed you with. It will also allow the Holy Spirit to minister and manifest the blessings of God upon your family as He is acknowledged as the author, originator, sovereign leader and head of your household.

"The effectual fervent prayers of the righteous availeth much." (James 5:16b)

When a husband prays together with his wife and visa-versa, it brings the presence and anointing of God to bear, which in turn creates a healthy marriage relationship and family oriented atmosphere that is conducive to the blessing that "maketh rich and He addeth no sorrow with it."  (Proverbs 10:22)

I want to encourage you to embrace change, and commit yourself to being in submission to God. Expand your knowledge base of God's Word, and allow it to be the standard by which you measure your progress. Finally set aside quality time for personal devotion in prayer as well as with your companion and family. I am confident that in doing so, you will experience the rewards of a restored and healthy marriage.  It all begins with you making a conscious decision to change, learn, grow and improve personally. 

Thank you for taking time to read this blog post. Please share your comments and let us know how it has impacted change in your life for the better.  Please be sure to pass it on and share the blog with others. Thank you and may God bless you.


9 Comments to A Restored & Healthy Marriage Begins With You:

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Dr. Stanley D. Williams on Saturday, February 08, 2014 11:35 AM
While it is true that Valentines day is a special time when couples show love and affection for one another other, it is important to realize that a marriage has to be cultivated all year long. In order to properly maintain and cultivate a marriage it is important that God be first in each of the partners lives. Secondly each partner must embrace the word of God as the guide for not only their personal lives but also for their marriage. It is also important that personal time and attention be given to each partner, because this will not only build intimacy but the necessary friendship that is required for a healthy marriage. Marriage is the bedrock of the family and out of it God seeks a Godly seed, this alone should motivate all of us to cultivate, protect and most of all love our significant others.
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Apostle Bethtina Williams on Thursday, February 13, 2014 12:20 PM
Apostle Stanley Williams, your wisdom is always appreciated on our community blog. Friendship in the marriage relationship and our collective relationship with God is the glue that helps maintain resilience and unity that will last for a lifetime. Also, it is the heartfelt commitment to covenant that companions make one to another that ensures that the pitfalls, distractions and challenges of life can not break or destroy the marriage relationship. God bless you my dear loving husband!!


Nikki Godbolt on Saturday, February 08, 2014 10:05 PM
I am a single woman, but I totally agree with everything that was spoken in the blog. Because when I look at my relationship with God in order to keep it healthy, I must spend time with him, and spend time in the word of God so that I will know how to live before him. His word teaches us how to love and treat others. Therefore in every marriage relationship the word of God must be the Rock on which they stand, because its only the word of God that will teach us how to love our mates effectively! Every marriage should be an example of Christ and the Church. He loves his bride, he covers his bride, he protects his bride, he feeds his bride, he provide for his bride, he encourage his bride, he strengthens his bride, he blessings his bride, my God, need I go on!!! I'm so glad that I am Christ bride first, so that when my husband comes, I already know how I am to be treated! Praise God, God Bless you Apostle Beth! Love ya!
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Apostle Bethtina Williams on Thursday, February 13, 2014 12:26 PM
Nikki, I absolutely love the way that you shared your thoughts in our community blog. They are all true and thoughtful. The Word of God and our relationship with Him is what creates the proper understanding of how we should build healthy relationships with one another. It is as we master our relationship with God that we can correspondingly the way that we relate to others. May God bless you and enrich your relationships with His divine love and kindness.


Candice Mimms on Sunday, February 09, 2014 1:17 AM
Marriage is so beautiful yet it has its challenges at the same time. My husband and I will be celebrating our 7th year anniversary this month. When I begin to think back over the years we’ve been together, I can honestly say my love has grown deeper after having gone through and overcome challenges within our marriage. The tough times actually brought us closer. True love is unconditional. Love is recognizing a person’s value or potential value beyond their mistakes. The blog presented great points on an individual embracing CHANGE by becoming whole through the reading and application of the word of God, as well as, having a relationship with God. These are essential tools to having a strong and healthy marriage. Our relationship with God and the understanding of His word can tremendously help our relationship with our spouse. Once an individual reads and applies the word of God to areas in their life and once an individual gives time in communing with God, change occurs. A transformation takes place that causes our way of thinking to be founded on godly principles versus our self-centered desires. Whenever we may be frustrated or unsure of things, we simply just need to ask ourselves, what does God’s word say about my situation?
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Apostle Bethtina Williams on Thursday, February 13, 2014 12:33 PM
Candice, thank you for sharing your insightful comments with us on the community blog. It is truly appreciated. All relationships will be tested, and it is the tests that prove the strength of the relationship. When individuals within the marriage have an understanding of the word of God it gives them the ability to make the necessary changes in order to maintain a healthy marriage that is lasting. Change and adjustments are always a necessity in life. When needed changes occur relationships can improve and become better, but when the changes required do not occur, relationships suffer and are damaged. Embrace change for the better and experience the good life that God always intended for you to enjoy with your companion and family. God bless you Candice!!


Toiya Moffatt on Thursday, February 20, 2014 3:01 AM
I truly love the essence of this blog. It not only points out the key to a healthy marriage and or relationships, but the key to a healthy you, which is your complete submission to the will of God. Often times we make the mistake of seeking relationships that we hope will help us to define ourselves and make us whole just to end up disappointed. God created us, He fashioned us in His likeness, therefore it only makes sense to go to Him for instruction and guidance on how we are to be. I have found that it is only through Him that you can be made whole ,and that once that happens you will not only attract healthy relationships but you will be equipped through your fellowship with Him to maintain them. Thank you Apostle for another enlightening blog! God bless you.
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Pam W on Monday, February 24, 2014 7:49 PM
I praise God for everyone's wonderful comments. God bless you
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Buy Prandin online on Wednesday, March 26, 2014 2:15 AM
Thanks for your valuable information. This information is helpful. Please keep sharing more and more information.
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